I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
