i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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