shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
