It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
