Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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