We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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