Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize
