After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
