It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Do you have feelings for this penis?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Holy shit dude........stairs
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
