I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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