You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
