check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize
