If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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