Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
