I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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