Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I party with great urgency now.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
