i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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