Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize