Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
