Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
