Having a random hookup so left but love u
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
