we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
