U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize