Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
