Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
