im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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