Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
