If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
