I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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