Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
