Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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