My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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