i think my mom watched the whole time
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
It was confusing and full of hummus
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
