DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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