You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I touched a dick in church today
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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