Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize