Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
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so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
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Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
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