i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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