im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
