Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
