she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
