i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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