what day is it and did you see me today?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Randomize
