Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
