He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
