Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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