I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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