margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Be still, my beating vagina.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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