girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
