Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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