I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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