whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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