you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
