Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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