So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize