I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
