I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
So many bounce houses so little time
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
