Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
